A Collection of quotes from
Swami Dhyan Giten

 

How can we learn to listen to the silent whisperings of our heart? How does love relate to aloneness? What is intuition? How can we develop our presence, so that our presence and intuition becomes a source of love, joy, healing and wisdom in the contact with another person? What is the difference between the personality and the inner being, the authentic self? How can we develop the inner being through meditation? How do the inner man and woman express themselves on the outside in the form of relationships? How do the three life areas, meditation, relationships and creativity, relate to each other in creating a loving, fulfilling and creative life? What is spiritual maturity? 

The Silent Whisperings of the Heart consists of a collection of quotes from Swami Dhyan Giten about awareness, meditation, intuition, relationships, the inner man and woman, healing, working with people from love and awareness, truth, creativity, silence, wisdom and spiritual maturity. Each page inspires you to see yourself and life in a new way, from a new dimension. This collection of quotes is an introduction to Giten's perspective on life. It is a beautiful gift for yourself or a friend. 

Giten has been compared with the poetry of Kahlil Gibran, author of the famous book The Prophet, and quotes from The Silent Whisperings of the Heart has been quoted together with quotes of Albert Einstein, Carl Jung, Ramana Maharishi, Walt Whitman, Herman Hesse, Heraclitus, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and the Indian book of wisdom The Upanishads.

 

SWAMI DHYAN GITEN was trained in modern psychology at the University of Stockholm, and in Eastern methods for awareness and meditation in USA, Italy, Sweden and India. He has 22 years of experience in individual counseling and in teaching awareness. He works internationally with seminars, courses and longer development programs in the areas of: awareness, meditation, intuition, relationships, inner man/inner woman, healing, creativity, The Sacred Yes - The Art of Spiritual Healing and Presence — Working from Within: Working with people from love & awareness. He also works as a teacher and consultant to companies and organizations seeking to raise awareness in their organizations. He has been a meditator since 27 years.

Since he began to meditate when he was 15 years old, he has studied and investigated the inner journey in order to move out of his own way, to be in a flow, and to discover the authentic inner being, the meditative quality within, the inner silence and emptiness, the capacity to surrender to life.

When he did an education in healing in USA 1984, he was told that he had the capacity to become a crownchakrahealer, a spiritual healer, to act as a channel and instrument for spiritual energy from the 7th chakra through the heart. The last 20 years has meant to deepen and develop this capacity.

His three creative areas in expressing the inner song of meditation in outer form are teaching, writing and painting. His meditative art is recognized internationally and have been nominated for the international art exhibition, The Florence Biennale in Italy, which is arranged in cooperation with The United Nations. His meditative art is also represented in The World Artist Directory for Accomplished Artists.

 

He is author of the book Song of Meditation — About Meditation, Relationships & Spiritual Creativity (Solrosens förlag, Swedish edition, 2001) and  The Silent Whisperings of the Heart - The Fire of Awareness & The Fragrance of Love: A Collection of quotes from Giten (Gitens Varld, Swedish edition, 2004). 

 

“Beautiful. Colourful…”

NISHKAM, EDITOR, REBELLIOUSSPIRIT.COM

 

“Giten is a loving facilitator of much wisdom.”

 

 

“In The Whisperings of the Heart, Giten points at the variety of ways in which our inner being expresses itself in terms of our actions and our relationships. He also provides insights in various areas, including of course, those of healing and intuition, meditation, art and creativity, communications, loving relationships with both friends and family, working with people from love and awareness and spiritual maturity. His comments are both useful as well as joyful and inspirational. More than anything, they motivate us to taste where we may not have fully tasted before, to taste the beyond.

Giten invites us to a celebration, a feast for the soul and delights us and inspires us with capsules of insight and conscious affirmation of the deliciousness of the divine.”

 

FROM THE FOREWORD BY ERIC ROLF, INTERNATIONAL LECTURER, COURSE LEADER AND AUTHOR OF THE BOOK SOUL MEDICINE 

 

“I want to congratulate you on The Silent Whisperings of the Heart. I feel a most brilliant connection to you through the “crown” of creation. Thank you for appearing in my life, Giten.”

 

EVAN THOMAS, CREATIVE DIRECTOR, PLANETLIGHTWORKER.COM

 

“Dear Giten, I really loved your words on giten.net. How beautiful you can put the words and create your song of meditation.
Share your love and meditation with the world.
Aloha.”

 

MAHA CONYERS, REV., MA, Ed.Psych, MAUI, HAWAII

 

“While I cannot express enough how grateful I am to receive your paintings, please know I sincerely appreciate your kindness and good thought. There are so many people in this world who are in keen need of your energies that, in keeping with The Kindness Chain, I ask you to consider sharing your good will with them in the future.”

 

 

 

1.     Intuition & Heart

Intuition means to learn to listen to the silent whisperings of our own heart.

Intuition is our inner teacher, our inner source of love, truth and wisdom, in life.

Intuition basically means to develop a deeper trust in ourselves. Intuition means to develop a deeper trust in our heart and inner being.

Intuition is basically a function of our heart and the heart is the door to develop our intuition.

Intuition is a “yes” to life. Intuition means to develop a trust to life. Intuition means to learn to listen to life. When we allow ourselves to follow the silent whisperings of our heart, the fragrance of love arises.

Life is like playing “hide the key” with God. God has hidden the key and now it is up to us to find the key again. It also takes us a while to realize that the key is hidden in our own heart. Our heart is the door to allow life to guide us. Our heart is the door to say “yes” to life. Our heart is the door to surrender to life.

Intuition means to follow the silent whispers of the inner in a basic “yes” to life.

Life is really very simple. In each moment, we have the opportunity to choose between saying “yes” or “no”, to listen to our intuition, to listen to our true inner voice, the Existential voice within ourselves. When we say “yes”, we have contact with Existence and we receive nourishment, love, joy, support and inspiration. When we say “no”, we create a separation from life and begin to create dreams and expectations of how it should be. We begin to live in the memories of the past and in the fantasies of the future – as if any other time than here and now really could make us happy and satisfied.

Life is our teacher. Life communicates with us all the time and it is a lesson to see how life continuously have led me to the people I need to met, to the situations I need to experience, and to the places I need to be. There has never been any real reason to worry since all small individual rivers are already on their way to the ocean, to the Whole. It is not about swimming, it is about relaxing and to float with the river in a basic trust that life already leads towards the sea of consciousness, towards the Whole.

 

Intuition means to know from within ourselves. Intuition is our true inner voice, our Socratic Daimonion, our inner teacher.

Intuition is about being present and taking creative decisions.

Through learning to listen to our own intuition, it develops to a constantly available inner source of love, truth and wisdom. We can close our eyes, go within, and always receive the right guidance.

Intuition is the art of the moment. Intuition is always in the moment, in the here and now.

Intuition means to develop a trust in ourselves, a trust in our own joy, intelligence and creativity, a trust in our own individuality.

The intellect gives insight, logic and understanding, the heart gives joy, acceptance, trust, intuition, compassion, friendship, playfulness, humor, creativity and a sense of oneness in love and the inner being gives silence, a rest in ourselves, meditation and a sense of belongingness with life.

The human heart is a healer, which heals both others and ourselves.

The human heart operates from two premises: "I Am Responsible" and "Only Love Works.

Love is what creates the freedom and relaxation to be who we really are.

The greatest gift we can give to another person is our love.

In the depth of our heart, we already know that we are perfect as we are. In the depth of our inner being, we already know that life is perfect as it is.

Fear and hate create separation, love and joy creates belongingness and wholeness.

Acceptance means to learn to love and respect ourselves as we are.

Acceptance is to love and embrace everything that we find within ourselves like a mother embraces her child.

When we stop judging others and ourselves, our heart begins to open.

Acceptance means to bring out everything from inside ourselves out in the light.

Everything we give love and attention to grows and develops.

Meditation is the way to develop the inner clarity, which is the base to develop our intuition.

Intuition is a capacity of our heart. Our heart is the door to allowing Existence to guide us, instead of being directed by our ideas, desires and expectations. Since the days of Aristotle’s, we have been taught that logic is the only way to reach a solution. But while logic works in a step-by-step-process to reach a solution, intuition simply takes a quantum leap to a solution without any intermediate steps.

To see life from the perspective of intuition is to have vision. To see life from the perspective of intuition is to see life from the perspective of wholeness. It is to understand that life is basically one and that we are part of life. While the intellect can only see the details, intuition sees the whole. To see life from the perspective of intuition is like looking at life from the summit of the mountain, whereas seeing life only from the perspective of intellect is like looking at life from the foot of the mountain. Through learning to listen to our intuition, we learn to be in contact with the Whole.

We all have the same capacity to develop our intuition. Meditation and love are the basic nourishment to develop our intuition. People with a quality of heart are often intuitive.

Intuition is the art of the moment. Intuition is always in the moment, in the here and now. While the intellect always moves like the pendulum of a clock between the memories of the past and the fantasies of the future, intuition is always in the moment, always in the here and now. The more we develop our inner being, the inner source of love and truth, the inner quality of being here and now, the more we also have access to our intuition.

Intuition is about moving out of our own way. Intuition is about moving out of our limited sense of “I”. It means moving out of the way of our ideas about how things should be and just be with what is. It is to be with the living reality of the moment .

Our heart is the door to allowing Existence to guide us. Our heart is the door to allowing life to support is in our psychological development process towards spiritual maturity.

Intuition is the voice of our inner being, of our authentic self. Intuition is the Existential voice within ourselves. Through listening to our intuition, we are in contact with the Whole.

Intuition is a trust that if we follow our heart, if we follow our love, joy and truth, the Whole becomes enriched.

Intuition is already in contact with Existence. Intuition is already in contact with that, which is larger than ourselves.

 

 

2. Healing

Within each one of us there is a healer. Healing has always been a way and a deep source of joy for me. Healing is basically our own energy, which overflows from our inner being, from the meditative quality within, from the inner silence and emptiness.

Healing is pure love in essence. Love is what creates healing. Love is the strongest force there is. The sheer presence of love is, in itself, healing. It is more the absence of love – than the presence of love –, which creates problems. Healing is a quality, which we can freely share without any ownership. Healing is not something that we can claim as our own; healing is to be a medium, a channel, for the whole.

Healing is a medium through which we can develop our inner qualities of presence, love, joy, intuition, truth, silence, wisdom, creativity and inner wholeness. Healing comes originally from the silence within, where we are already in contact with the whole, with the divine. Healing is what makes us spread our inner wings of love and silence and soar high on the sky of consciousness and touch the stars. Healing is to be in service of God.

People who have a quality of heart and sensitivity are naturally healing. With some people that we meet, we feel naturally uplifted and inspired. With other people that we meet, we become tired and heavy. With people, who can listen without judging and evaluating, it is easy to find the right words to share problems and difficulties. And with other people, it seems almost impossible to find the right words.

People, who have a healing presence and quality, can support our own inner source of love, truth and silence through their presence. These people also seem to have an intuitive sensitivity to saying the right words, which lift and inspires us. This is the people whose presence can mirror the inner truth, which we already know deep within ourselves.

The human heart is a healer, which heals others and ourselves. It is the hearts quality of love, acceptance and compassion, plus communication through words, that creates healing. A word that comes from the heart creates healing. A silent listening with a quality of presence and an accepting attitude creates space for healing to happen.

 

Without love it is only possible to reach the personality of the other person, to reach the surface and periphery of the other person

The gift of healing comes when we see the other person with love and compassion. It is the quality of heart, which creates the love and the genuine caring for the other person. When our words are carried by the quality of heart, you can say almost anything to the other person and he will still be able to be open and receptive. But if our words lack the quality of heart, it also becomes difficult for the other person to continue to be open and receptive. Even if a therapist is very skilful, technically, or has a clear clairvoyant ability, and still lacks the natural roots in the soil of the heart, then his words will not touch the heart of the other person.

When I began to work with people almost 22 years ago, it was an insight for me that I really cared about the other person, and that it was this love that was communicated beyond the words to the other person. One of my course participants – who is a teacher – described this very beautifully when he said that he was impressed by my intuition and by my way of conducting therapeutic work – or, as he would rather call this, “giving insights into love”. Love is what allows us to go beyond the surface of the other person and to touch his inner being, his inner essence. Without love, it is only possible to reach the personality of the other person, to reach the surface and periphery of the other person.

Meditation is the way to develop our natural healing abilities. Healing comes originally from our inner being, from the inner source of silence and wholeness. In the silence, we can let go of all our problems, frustrations, fears, anger and sorrow. Healing happens when we bring everything that we find inside ourselves out into the light. Healing is to embrace and accept everything that we find inside ourselves without judgment or evaluation. Healing happens when we discover an unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves as we are with both our light and dark sides.

A male meditator says that he made a deep insight in a course about what healing is, which has guided him much in life. He says: "I did a course and had been feeling very good during the week before the course. The first two days of the course I still felt very good. But the third day of the course, I began to feel uncomfortable. The question why I suddenly felt uncomfortable arose in me. But instead of asking somebody else, I asked myself this question and the answer I got was: "To receive attention". Could it be so simple? I thought, and then I closed my eyes, went inside myself and gave myself attention. Through this I discovered that I could give myself healing. There were also many things that I suddenly understood through this about the question: "What is healing?" It became clear to me that healing is to give attention and that healing and giving attention are synonymous terms".

Healing is not only a specific method, healing is also to invite another person into our own inner light, to invite another person into our presence, love, joy, acceptance, humor, understanding, playfulness, meditation and silence. Healing can also be a loving word, an understanding glance, a present touch, a silent listening or simply joking with another person and making him or her happy. Humor is also one of the strongest healing powers to see our situation and ourselves in a new and creative light.

When I pursued an education in healing in the USA in 1984, I was told that I had the capacity to become a crownchakrahealer, a spiritual healer, to act as a channel and catalyst for spiritual energy from the 7th chakra through the heart. At that time I had no idea what a crownchakrahealer really was and since than it has been a continuous process during the last 17 years to deepen and develop my understanding about what a crownchakrahealer is. This process has resulted in a way of working I call "Synchronicity – Transmission of the Light", which uses healing and energy work from the Source on a formless level. With this way of working I have worked with groups up to 80 people. It is really a way of working, which goes around the ego and speaks directly to the heart. It allows a person to come in direct contact with his own inner being, with his own life source. With my intellect I still do not understand how this way of working functions. It is not a way of working, which can be understood on a method plane. It is a way of working, which relates directly to the heart and which can only be understood through insight and experience.

One participant in Gothenburg described his experience of Synchronicity as being like a thousand suns suddenly had been lit in his own consciousness. He says: "It was like an inner explosion, an expansion of my own consciousness – and I felt only love for the other people in the room".

The greatest teacher in healing is nature itself. To be out in the nature is like being surrounded and embraced by love. Trees are also very beautiful people, who have their own innate wisdom and who are already in oneness with Existence. And the sky whispers its silent message that, beyond everything, there is only one sky. A female meditator describes it like there is a basic meditative quality in nature. She says: "There is nothing in nature that questions each others existence like people do. Everything is allowed to exist and everything is allowed to be exactly as it is – and seasons come and go. It is not strange that people love to be out in nature and experiences that they come in harmony with themselves, because, in nature, there is nothing that tries to change them. There is a quality in the air, which can be called a meditative quality".

Healing is to be in the light of our own consciousness. Healing is an inner light, which exist as a natural radiance around a person. This inner light is in itself a healing force beyond words. This inner light disperses darkness, like when you lit a candle in a dark room and the darkness disappears by itself. This inner light exudes a subtle influence through its mere presence. The more the light in our own consciousness is lit, the more it creates a subtle effect in the world.

 

 

3. Roots and wings:

The inner man and woman

 

What are the inner man and woman? Our being consists of two energies: the male and female aspect. Irrespective of if we are a man or a woman, we have both a male and female side.

Life develops through opposite poles and tendencies for example yes and no, joy and sorrow, light and darkness, positive and negative, day and night and life and death. Just as electricity needs both a negative and positive pole for a spark to arise, the human consciousness has also two poles. These two poles are the male and female side. The male side is represented by the right side of the body and the left side of the body represents the female side.

We all have both a male and female side, which is represented by the right and left side of the body. Our inner male and female sides are expressed on the outside as relationships. Often our longer and deeper relationships with an outer man or woman are a mirror of our own inner man or woman. In every meeting with a man or woman, a conscious or unconscious comparison occurs with our own inner man or woman. If there is a comparison with our inner man or woman, we fall in love.

 

 

Relationships are a development and a dance between our inner male and female sides.

 

A one-sided development of the male side leads to ego, struggle, destructivity and a separation from life. A one-sided development of our female side leads to dependence and passivity. It is when we have developed a balance and harmony between both our male and female side that a new spark of joy, creativity and wholeness arises within ourselves.

The basic problem with the world today is the unbalance between the male and female aspects, the unbalance between our inner and outer world, the unbalance between knowledge and wisdom, the unbalance between intellect and intuition and the unbalance between activity and rest.

Relationships are a development and a dance between our inner male and female sides. It is a balance and a dance between love and freedom, between aloneness and relating, between strength and receptivity, between closeness and distance, between intellect and intuition, between relaxation and activity and between meeting and leaving.

Outer relationships are a mirror of the relationship and communication between our own inner male and female sides.

Outer relationships with a man or a woman are a possibility to understand our own inner man or woman. Outer relationships with a man or a woman are a mirror of the relationship between our own inner man and woman.

Embracing our own inner man and woman means to understand the inner drama that happens between our male and female aspects, which manifests on the outside as relationships.

Love means to understand the drama that happens between the inner man and woman. It means to allow both the inner man and woman to find their creative roots and expression. When we have developed a trust in both our inner man and woman and they can nourish, support, communicate and cooperate with each other, a love begins to flow between them.

Often we are identified with either the inner man or woman, while the other side is hidden and unexpressed.

Outer relationships are a mirror of the relationship and communication between our own inner man and female side. Sometimes one side is dominant, while the other side is submissive. Sometimes one side is developed, while the other side is undeveloped. Sometimes one side takes responsibility for the other side. Both the inner man and woman need to find their own integrity and independence. When both the inner man and woman takes responsibility for themselves and lives their own truth, a joy and love begins to flow naturally between them.

Through understanding both the inner man and woman, we understand that outer relationships simply mirror the relationship between our inner man and woman. This understanding gives us the opportunity to take conscious responsibility for our choices and our further steps towards spiritual maturity.

Through becoming aware of how the inner man and woman relates and communicates inside ourselves, it creates a joy and satisfaction in the three life areas that they influence: our meditation and inner growth, our relationships and our work and creativity.

The heart is the door to our inner woman. The heart is the door to our inner world. The powerchakra relates to the inner man. The powerchakra relates to the outer world. Irrespective of if we are a man or a woman, the inner woman is the center of our consciousness. The inner man is the periphery of our consciousness. It is also the inner man that takes care of and protects the inner woman for example through putting up creative boundaries.

The meeting between a man and a woman on the outer plane creates a relationship. This relationship is not a conflict, but they complement each other. The outer meeting between a man or a woman also creates an integration between our own inner male and female sides on the inner plane. It is when our inner male and female sides meets within ourselves that a new spark of love, joy, and wholeness arises within ourselves.

When I meet a woman who matches my own inner woman, I notice that it creates a joy in my heart. It is the joy of recognition, a longing after inner wholeness between my own inner man and woman. It is the inner longing that the outer relationship will help us to reconnect the relationship between our inner male and female sides and makes us whole. In this way our outer relationships becomes a possibility to develop and integrate our inner man and woman in the relationship with an outer man or woman. In this way the outer relationships creates a possibility to learn to love both our outer partner and our own inner male and female side. It is when we develop both our inner man and woman that we find a new harmony and wholeness within ourselves.

Healing means to develop and integrate our inner man and woman so that love can flow between them. To rediscover our own inner source of love, we need to embrace both the male and female sides within ourselves. When these two sides are developed and integrated, a new spark of love, joy, harmony, creativity and wholeness arises within us.

Awareness is an inner harmony between opposite poles and tendencies. Awareness is a choiceless consciousness. Awareness is the capacity to embrace, accept and include both joy and sadness, love and aloneness, light and darkness, male and female qualities and life and death. Through saying “yes” and accepting both tendencies and including whatever aspect that happens in the moment, we meet our unlimited and boundless inner being.

The inner man and woman need to find their own independence and integrity. When both the inner man and woman takes responsibility for themselves and lives their own truth, a joy and love begins to flow naturally between them.

Healing means to develop the inner man and woman so that love can flow between them. Healing is to learn to love both our inner man and woman. It is to learn to live the truth of both the inner man and woman.

I have always been in contact with my inner woman. When I studied psychology at the University, a woman in the class of becoming psychologists said once that she thought that I was the only man in the class that did not despise woman. I have always loved and respected my inner woman, which have also created a genuine love for woman on the outside. In fact, I started my own psychological development process through developing my inner woman and then I developed my inner man.

The inner woman is the source of healing. The inner woman is the source of silence. The inner woman is the source of love. The inner woman is the source of belongingness with life.

Embracing the inner man and woman is to discover our inner roots and wings. Becoming aware of our inner man and woman means to discover the roots and creative potential of both the male and female aspect within ourselves.

Becoming aware of the inner man and woman means to understand that they have different visions of life. It means to understand that they have different perspectives and views of life.

The inner man and woman are our two wings of love and freedom. Through awareness, acceptance and understanding, we can allow our two wings to develop in a deep and natural harmony.

In the world today, a one-sided development of the male side leads to destructivity. A one-sided development of the male side leads to ego, struggle, exhaustion and a separation from life. A one-sided development of the female side leads to passivity and dependence.

How does the inner man and woman relate to money, creativity and financial abundance? Existence is abundance. Traditionally men have created a deep split between the inner and outer world, between body and soul, between the material and spiritual world, between love and money and between male and female qualities. The inner man and woman are related to money, creativity and financial abundance. Through investigating the roots of the inner man and woman, we can find the creative potential of both the inner man and woman. Sometimes can either the inner man or woman also provide financial support for both sides, while the other side has the idea that it cannot support itself financially.

I have always been in contact with my own inner female side, which has also given me an understanding for woman. Now I also feel that I have developed a balance between my own male and female side. I feel that I have found a balance between, freedom and love, between love and relating, between strength and receptivity, between silence and activity and between intellect and intuition.

When we embrace the opposites within ourselves and understand that inner harmony arises when they mature, we find the love, joy, silence and freedom that are hidden in every moment.

It is my experience that it is through the inner female side that we find the depth within ourselves – independent of if we are a man or a woman. It is through the female side that we find the inner source of love and truth. It is through the female side that we lit the light of our own consciousness.

The more we learn to know the inner man and woman and the more we accept their different visions of life, the more a meeting happens between them that makes us happy and satisfied. Through embracing both these sides in ourselves, we realize that we really lack nothing – but that we already are love.

When both the male and female side is capable of living in trust, a love begins to flow between them – a love that was always possible, but not realized.

The inner woman is the meditative quality within ourselves. The inner woman is the source of love and truth. The inner woman is the capacity to surrender to life. It is through the inner woman that we are in contact with life. It is the inner woman that is the door to belongingness with the Whole.

 

4. Relationships

 

Love is not an exclusive relationship, love is a quality and depth of being.

Our outer relationships are a mirror of our basic inner relationship with ourselves.

Relationships are a balance, a development and a dance between our male and female qualities.

All people seek love, joy and harmony in their own way. We all want to be loved for who we are. We all want to be acknowledged and accepted for the unique individual we are. The problem in relationships arises when we seek our own center, our own source of love, in another person. We seek a source of love outside of ourselves. The problem in relationships is that the other person also seeks after his own center, his own source of love, in the other person. In this way both persons will sooner or later feel disappointed and cheated, because of their expectation on the other person. It is first when we let go of the idea and expectation that the other person will give us the love that we do not have inside ourselves, that the base for a really loving, satisfying and meaningful relationship is possible. It is first when the relationship becomes a giving of love, instead of a taking of love, that the relationship becomes really nourishing and satisfying. As long as we look for the source of love outside of ourselves, we will eventually become disappointed and disillusioned.

 

 

It is first when we discover the source of love within ourselves, which is our true nature, that we can become really happy and satisfied.

It is first when we can relate from our inner being, from our inner center, from our inner source of love and truth, that relationships becomes really loving, creative and satisfying. It is first when we discover the source of love within ourselves, which is our true nature, that we can become really happy and satisfied.

As long as we need another person to cover up our inner feeling of emptiness, to cover up our inner darkness and loneliness, the relationship will sooner or later end up in disappointment frustration and disillusioned expectations. It is first when we no longer need the other person to fill our inner emptiness, that we consciously can relate from our inner being, from the authentic self, from our overflowing inner source of love. When relationships are based on the expectation that a partner should fill our inner emptiness, it is like offering an empty cup to our partner with the expectation that the partner should fill our empty cup – instead of overflowing from our inner being and filling our cup from within ourselves. The difference between acting out of our inner being, from our inner source of love, and acting out of our inner emptiness, is like the difference between acting out of light and darkness.

I have noticed how much of my professional life – as a therapist and a course leader – that has been a way to fill my own inner emptiness and a way to receive love, acknowledgement and acceptance. I notice what a difference it is to be in contact with another person from a desire to get love from the other person or to be in contact with another person without any desire to receive anything from the other person. When I can rest in my own inner source of love, it creates a joy and a relaxation in me. It also gives me the freedom to give others the space to be who they are in the moment.

I have also learnt not to act when I am not in the light. I have learnt to wait to act until I am in the light again. I have noticed that when I can be in contact with myself – instead of reacting automatically and searching love outside of myself – I can witness my own inner feeling of emptiness, my own need of love from without myself. This awareness changes my need to look for love outside of myself and it makes my own inner source of love begin to flow from within myself. It is awareness and acceptance that allows me to be with myself and witness my own feeling of wanting love from without myself. It is like being with this feeling and embrace it like a mother embraces her child. This awareness and acceptance makes me come back to my own center, instead of seeking source of love from without myself. I also notice that the more I can accept both when am in the light and when I am in the dark, the more this awareness and acceptance makes more light than dark moments arise.

A key to relationships is to know the difference between when it is time to hold on and when it is time to let go. The criteria are the degree of joy and satisfaction that the relationship creates.

Expectations are the basic problem in relationships. Expectations are ideas of I should be, how my partner should be and how the relationship should be. When the relationship does not fit with our preconceived ideas and expectations, we become disappointed. When I told a beautiful woman who I had a relationship with that I loved her for the first time, she did not answer back that she also love me. Instead she was silent for a long time and then she said: “You are courageous to say that!” Her own truth was that she was not ripe at that moment to say that she also loved me. At that moment she was not ripe to take the commitment that it means to say to another human being that “I love you.” I had no expectation that she should say that she also love me. For me it was a giving without expecting anything in return. For me it was a way to overflow from my inner source of love and truth. Instead of asking if she loves me, it is simply more creative to ask myself if I love her. It is a sharing of my love – and then it is up to the other person what he or she wants to do with it. He or she does not have to do anything with it either.

What is the difference between the love pole and the freedom pole in relationships? Relationships are a balance between love and freedom, where often one partner chooses the freedom pole and the other partner chooses the love pole. The freedom pole means that the partner chooses his own freedom, independence and individuality before the relationship. The love pole means that the partner chooses love, to be together and the relationship. It is like the image that one partner is always trying to run away from the relationship, while the other partner is running after. Earlier I have almost always chosen the freedom pole in relationships, but in one of my latest relationships I found myself in the love pole as she continuously chose her own freedom and independence before the relationship. It did not bother me as I loved her and it was also a valuable meditation for me. But I could also see that if the relationship should be alive and develop, both partners need to have a basic commitment to the relationship. Both partners need to have a love for each other so that these two poles does not become a mechanical way of reacting.

If there are love and truth in the relationship, life will sustain the relationship by itself. If there are not love and truth in the relationship, it will change.

Through learning to both be alone with ourselves and to relate in love with other people, we can easier appreciate and accept when life offers us periods of both love and aloneness. It also makes it easier to see when it is authentic to be alone with ourselves and when it is authentic to relate to other people.

Some people cling to relationships to avoid meeting their own aloneness. Other people chose aloneness so that they do not have to relate with other people and risk being hurt or betrayed. Through learning to both be alone with ourselves and to relate with other people, it gives us a new freedom to relate to life. It gives us a new joy and freedom in both being happy and satisfied in our own aloneness and in relating with people in joy, acceptance, trust, friendship, humor, playfulness, understanding, compassion, silence, sincerity, freedom and a sense of oneness in love.

 

5. Love

Love is not an exclusive relationship with another person, love is the quality that arises when we are in contact with our inner being, with our authentic self, with the meditative quality within, with the inner silence and emptiness. This inner emptiness is experienced by others and is expressed on the outside as love. This love is not addressed to a specific person, it is a presence and quality that surrounds a person like a fragrance.

The human heart is a healer, which heals both ourselves and other people. The open heart is like a fountain, which no longer make any distinction between: ”I like you - I do not like you”. The open heart does not make any difference between friends and enemies. The open heart is open both for ourselves and for other people. The open heart is unconditional love.

Intuition is our true inner voice, the ever-present inner source of love, truth and wisdom, the silent Existential voice within ourselves. Through the intuition, we are in contact with the Whole.

Our heart is the door to allow Existence to guide us – instead of being directed by our own ideas, attitudes and preconceived expectations of how life should be.

When our heart is closed, it can create a lonely and isolated feeling together with the attitude: “Nobody loves me” or “Nobody cares about me”, which can make it hard for other people to love us.

The fourth level of consciousness is placed in the middle of the heart. The fourth level of consciousness is the human heart. The heart relates to unconditional love and acceptance both for ourselves and for other people. The heart relates to qualities such as empathy, joy, acceptance, trust, intuition, understanding, compassion, playfulness, healing, friendship, sincerity and a sense of oneness in love.

The human heart has both an active and outgoing quality and a receptive and ingoing quality. The outgoing quality is active love and the ingoing quality means to allow both others and ourselves to love us.

A silent revolution of the heart happens when we begin to care about another person and it is a joy to put the needs of the other person before our own needs. It is on the consciousness level of the heart that we begin to develop the awareness and sensitivity, which makes us begin to care about another person.

 

It is on the consciousness level of the heart that we begin to understand that we are not separated from life. We begin to understand that we are not small separate islands in a great ocean, but that life is one and that we all are small parts of the Whole.

 

When our heart is closed, it creates a lonely and isolated feeling. It prevents us from seeing the love that surrounds us all the time. It is when we begin to open our heart that we discover a feeling of oneness in love with other people, with nature, with the trees, with the stones, with the ocean and with the blue sky.

I remember when I had a painful relationship with a woman and did not know what I wanted to do with the relationship. Then I closed my eyes and asked my own intuition, my inner source of love and truth, Existence within myself, what I should do with the relationship. The answer that came in a silent whisper was: “Focus on love, not on a specific person.”

It is on the consciousness level of the heart that we begin to understand that we are not separated from life. We begin to understand that we are not small separate islands in a great ocean, but that life is one and that we all are small parts of the Whole. We begin to understand what is really important and meaningful in life. It is on the consciousness level of the heart that we begin to understand that life is about sharing, rather than hoarding. We begin to understand that life is about giving, rather than taking.

Above the consciousness level of the heart, we need a teacher and a guide. It is somebody who “knows”, who has walked further on the path than us and who can guide, encourage and inspire us. There is an Indian saying: “When the disciple is ready, the teacher occurs.”

Our heart is actually already open, but it is our judgments about others and ourselves that keep it closed. When we stop judging others and ourselves, our heart begins to open. The way to healing is to learn to love and accept ourselves unconditionally. It means to embrace both our positive and negative sides with love. It means to love everything that we find inside ourselves. Healing happens when we brings everything we find inside ourselves out into the light.

Trust is a requirement for love. Without trust, love becomes without depth. It becomes like a plastic rose, instead of a fresh and alive rose. Even if some people will use and betray our trust, it is not a reason to allow them to undermine our basic trust in life. It is better to allow some people to betray our trust than to not allow our basic trust in life to develop. Many people are also so sleeping and unconscious that they do not even know what they are doing. Even if we feel hurt, disillusioned and disappointed with people, try to give them love. One criterion for spiritual maturity is that we begin to give love, instead of needing love.

The really poor are those that think that money is the meaning of life. When we lack love in our life, money becomes a substitute.

Love is to eat pizza with our beloved even though we hate pizza.

We have been taught to love others, but not to love ourselves. But how can we love others if we do not love ourselves first? The ABC of love is that we first need to love ourselves before we can love anybody else.

Exactly as the rhythm of the in breath and out breath of the physical body, love has also two poles: to give love and to allow ourselves to be loved. Some people can easier give love, while others can easier be loved. But for our love to be whole, we need to learn to both give love and allow ourselves to be loved.

Love and fear are two sides of the same coin. In the absence of love, fear arises. In the light of love, fear disappears. Fear is a contraction of our life energy together with a feeling of loneliness and isolation. Love creates an expansion of our life energy together with a feeling of love, joy and belongingness with life.

Love is the strongest force there is. There is no stronger healing power than love. Love is pure magic. Love transforms people without really do anything. The mere presence of love transforms people. There is nothing more holy than love since love makes people whole.

Love accepts a human being as she is. Love creates the freedom for a human being to be who she is. Love creates the relaxation, which helps a person relax to into her own inner being, into her own authentic self.

Love allows us to appreciate the beautiful being we already are.

Love is not an exclusive relationship with another person; love is the quality of our inner being. It is to discover the source of love deep within ourselves, which is our true nature.

In the depth of our heart, we already know that we are perfect as we are. In the depth of our inner being, we already know that life is perfect as it is.

Love is the most valuable gift we can give to another person. What we need to do is to open our heart and release our love to the world, to the people, to nature, to the animals, to the threes and to the sky – and this love will be returned a thousand times to us.

The basic fear with love is that love is larger than ourselves.

Love means to realize that we are one with life. Real love means to realize that we are one with the other person, one with nature, and one with the threes, the stones, the earth and the blue sky. It means to realize that all of life is God. 

 

 

 

6. Presence – Working from within:

Working with people from love and awareness

 

The most important ability in working with people is the capacity to be present. To be present means to develop a presence and a quality to work from, to be present with an open and relaxed heart and to be grounded in our inner being, in the authentic self, in the meditative quality within.

The basic awareness component in working with people from love and awareness is to develop a presence. Presence means to be grounded in our inner being, in our essence and authentic self. Presence means to work from a meditative quality, from a “yes”-quality, from a state of non-doing.

Presence means to be in the moment, to be in the here and now.

Presence is the capacity to be present for another person with an open heart and to be grounded in our inner being. It is to be present for another person as a supporting light, as a supporting presence – and simply to be present with another person can help.

 

 

Working with people from awareness means to be available. It means to respond with the truth in the moment. It means to respond to the moment in a way that creates a fragrance of love.

 

Working with people from presence and awareness means to change perspective from the personality, the psychological self, to the inner being, the authentic self, to the meditative quality within, to the inner silence and emptiness, the capacity to surrender to life.

What is the difference between working with people from a “yes” and “no”-quality? Working with people from a “yes”-quality means a quality of presence, acceptance, availability and meditation. Working with people from a “no”-quality means an attitude of defence, resistance and personality aspects.

Working with people from awareness means to be available. It means to respond with the truth in the moment. It means to respond to the moment in a way that creates a fragrance of love.

Presence is to meet another person in meditation. Presence is to invite another person in meditation. It is a meeting in love, joy, acceptance, sincerity, truth, silence and oneness.

Working with people from awareness basically means to work out of that which is already perfect within another person. Working with people from awareness means to see what expands and develops the inner being of another person. It means to lift up the unconscious psychological patterns in the light of awareness that prevents a person from being in contact with his own authentic inner being and to receive nourishment from his own inner source of love, joy, acceptance, truth, silence and wisdom. It also means to see what expands the total inner being of another person both in relation to himself, in relation to other people, in relation to creativity and in relation to life itself.

Working with people from presence and awareness means to develop our capacity to respond to a client’s inner being, his essence and authentic self.

Being-therapy is a search beyond the personality. Being-therapy is about changing perspective from a personality oriented therapeutic way of working into working out of our inner being, from our authentic self, from our inner source of love, joy, truth, silence, wisdom and creativity. Being-therapy is about returning to the original healing impulse, which made us embark on our inner journey: the impulse to heal and be healed. It is about returning the source, to the inner dimension, to the soul.

Being-therapy is about becoming aware, to lit the light in the inner being of another person. In the light of awareness, all that which is real and authentic develops and limiting personality patterns disappears by themselves. Being-therapy is not about continuously trying to change ourselves or becoming “better”, it is about discovering a love, respect and acceptance for ourselves as we are. Being-therapy is basically about discovering a meditative approach to life. It is about discovering a meditative presence and quality both in relation to ourselves, in relation to other people, in relation to creativity and in relation to life as a whole.

Personality therapy is about identification with the psychological attitudes, defences and resistances of the personality. Being-therapy is about going beyond the personality and discover the authentic inner being, our true individuality. It is about learning to become aware and witness the different layers of personality, rather than being identified with them. In this way we can see all our life problems in a new and creative light.

The concept Being-therapy is really a paradoxical term since the inner being is already perfect and do not need any therapy. The inner being is not split and do not contain any conflicts. It is the personality that is split in one conscious part and one unconscious part. In the inner being, we are one with ourselves.

A key in working with people is to not be identified with or involved in if people chose to respond or react, if they chose to say ”yes” or ”no” to their own growth. People are responsible themselves for their own growth and for how they chose to create their own lives.

Presence as a therapeutic concept is a paradoxical phenomenon. This presence contains both an aspect of being present and an aspect of being absent. It means to be present with our heart and being and it means to be absent from our sense of “I”. It is to be absent from our preconceived ideas, attitudes, judgments and concepts. Presence is like having our inner engine running, but having the gear in neutral. In this presence, the therapist can find more freedom and space in himself. He can be relaxed with whatever happens and he can easier witness the inner stream of thoughts, feelings, attitudes, judgements, reactions and concepts. In this presence he can easier be aware about his own reactions in relation to the people he meets professionally.

Presence is also necessary in order to be in contact with truth, with the real and authentic in the moment. In the inner being, the therapist can rest in himself, without any wish to try to change the other person and without any ambition to try to take the other person from point A to point B. The therapist do not really try to change the other person or try to make him feel better, but he shares one of life’s moments with a certain love, clarity and understanding for how the moment is. It also helps him to see easier when he becomes identified and involved in trying to change the other person, which often just creates a resistance in the other person.

Through working from his inner being, the therapist can also easier go back to his own inner silent center when the negative mind takes control and says things like: ”I am bad as a therapist”, ”I have nothing to give” and ”I can not do this.” In the silence of his inner being, there is no judgements or evaluation in terms of right and wrong or better and worse – it is an inner source, where we can rest in ourselves. It is to be in contact with that which is already perfect within ourselves.

When we are authentic, when we act out of presence and awareness, it also gives nourishment to the inner being of people around us.

Presence is not a question of judging or evaluating a client or a client’s situation. Presence is to see the client’s situation in a positive and creative light with a vision for how the present situation of the client relates to his further spiritual development. It is to accept a person as he is. It is to understand that the person is exactly where he needs to be in order to take the next step in his spiritual development. It is not about fighting with problems, darkness, drama and defences on the personality level, it is about becoming aware. It is about lighting the light in the inner being of another person.

Listening is an art. Listening is to move out of our own way. It is to move out of our ideas, attitudes and preconceived concepts, and to be present for another person as a supporting presence. It is to create the space for another person to be how he is beyond our own ideas and concepts about how the other person should be. It is to listen with both our heart and our total being. It is to see what it means to be 100 % present for the other person.

In situations where I feel unclear or I do not know what to say or do, I turn my attention within myself. Then I listen to what my intuition and to what Existence within myself wants in this moment. Through listening within in this way, an answer often comes in the form of a creative and authentic impulse to say or do something or simply being silent until Existence is ready to respond.

The therapist needs to develop the capacity to rest in himself and his own inner source of aloneness. In situations when the client chose to say ”no”, goes into reaction and is not open for change, the therapist need the ability to rest in his own inner source of aloneness. Through the ability to rest in his own aloneness, it is also easier to not get caught up in the ideas, expectations and resistance of the client. Through the ability to rest in his own aloneness, the therapist do not either need to seek confirmation from the client.

In the therapeutic process based on awareness, there exists no ”I" – it just exists a presence, a light, a love and a silence.

Emptiness and the not-“I” is the quality that arises when the therapist consciously moves out of his own way without hindering the therapeutic process through his own ideas, attitudes, expectations and concepts. He is present, available and responds with the truth in the moment.

Presence is about how every action can arise from the quality, which we call awareness – the presence of our inner being, the presence of our soul.

It is a large difference between working with people from the inner being and working with people from duty or a specific technique. Through working from the inner being, we can touch the soul of the other person, while we can only touch the personality of the other person, his surface and periphery, if we just work from a technique.

When two beings meet, when two souls meet, love arises. It arises a healing, a harmony, a relaxation and a sense of coming home. My parents were my first teachers in love. When I was 15 years old, I saw my parents sitting silently together in the living room. There was a special atmosphere - a special silence and harmony between them - which I sensed, but which I did not understand when I was 15 years old. It was a meeting in meditation, in synchronicity, in a deep unity.

Spontaneity in the therapeutic work arises when the therapist can allow creative and authentic impulses to arise from moment to moment from the inner being, from the meditative quality within, from the inner emptiness, from the capacity to surrender to life. Then the therapist becomes less of a technician and more of an artist in the therapeutic work. It is then when the therapist and client meets in awareness without any barrier between.